My brain is not working a 110%

Crap been trying to study my crim and somehow I just can’t really understand it and also how to answer the question given to me..Crap I am worried but then again, I just had one class lah rite takan I become a master when even the first was just an introduction. Haiz all I am saying is the lecturer scares me haha. Fuck I should be more worried about my math then crim or English because traditionally I do actually pretty good at this subjects that don’t require math equations hehe…next topic is work what else haha..the old gang was back and boy time flies when all of us are working on the same shift haiz if only everyday was like today.

chapter 4

I want to keep this post short. First day was good with math class seems being the most easy to make new friends while seems to be the hardest course for me. Next is crim, not too worried about the class. Only the lecture scares the shit out of me. I have not been to my English class, I really hope my lecture is a young and easy going guy and also people in the class are like easy to make friends with. Seriously I can’t help sense a bit of déjàvu because it feels like my Taylor’s the first day. Tomorrow work and I don’t start don’t open tomorrow yey..and on the plus site get to see ….well just towards the end of my shift..oh well..

school tomorow

After my last post...Noting much happen after that..except I fail my fucking road test again. God I swear its like someone is playing a trick on me during my test because twice already some random stupid shit happen during the ending part of my test and that made me fail it..Ahh…cant I just bribe this people I mean I am willing to pay even 500 bucks I don’t give a fuck…anyway…hehe back to school tomorrow..i just love being the new kid ahah..got to brush up on my how to make new friends skills. On sad part..my good friend at work is gone now well not gone but she is working at a afternoon shift already hmm sad..i miss her..anyway lucky I still got Patrick..haha..till the next blog.

Reminded me why sometimes I hate my job

Stupid big boss made all of us so dam annoy, made us clean the whole restaurant from top to bottom. Haiz I worked so hard it made my body so tired.besides that, i went off to see a doctor and it took me almost 2 hours plus another 20 minutes to get the medicine god sometimes I hate this stupid universal healthcare. I miss Malaysian clinic, I remember my subang area one shop row got 5 clinic and I always go to the cheapest one and it always took me no more than 45 minutes to see the doctor and get my medicine.

A brand new chapter in my life yet again

I think there is 3 chapters in my life here in Canada at the moment and now when I am writing this blog it’s the beginning of the 4 chapter which is University life. So hmm, let’s look back chapter one is about the time before I set foot in Canada which was the days of ICPU and the period after. Chapter 2 begins when I finally set foot in Canadian land. Chapter 3 is my working life in Canada.God, i just wish i was back in secondary school though where every year was the same with same old friends not like now where every year i am always someplace new and force to make new friends which is easy but wht i want is a bestfriend and that is not so easy to have. So orientation was today and well it was not a traditional orientation because the student union really put an effort to help new students meet new people and also understand that this was a close community place of study. Generally it was good I actually made a new friend which was great, will I ever see that person again who the hell knows. Bah besides that since I last posted my sad fuck up depressed blog , things have been so much better, my co workers have become my good friends and I actually started to hang out with them outside of work. Besides I that finally made an effort to contact the Taylor’s students who are in Vancouver. Dad got a job too. But on the downside I fail my fucking road test which sucks..well at least I got to watch the inglorious bastersd which help clear my mind.

Where is my light in the end of the tunnel?

Seems this days I just can’t find happiness anymore in fact I think this is the longest I ever felt so sad, angry, alone, disappointed in my entire life. Why? Why am I so depressed about? I should be happy because I have got a great opportunity to create a better life for me. A new beginning in a land far away from Malaysia but yet I have not gotten the high I had when I came to Canada within the first few days. I guess that was the last time I actually felt happy before the realty of the situation has set in yet. Now six months later, all I did during that time was work work, work, and work some more sure I earned some money but now even money don’t make me happy anymore. My social life is totally zero where my only thing closest I can call friendships are my co workers at work but I know myself that this people are not my type of friends who I hang out with so the possibility of going further then co worker relationship is next to impossible. So I guess that’s why I feel lonely and alone, because I got no good friends over here and talking to my family is like to talking to a strangers so that is also impossible to improve the relationship. So I keep things to myself getting lost in my movies where I can watch a fiction world and forget the loneliness I feel every day. Next is anger, and I have a lot of anger brewing in me and the reason I believe this is because I lost the sense of security I used to have knowing my dad has a job. But now he is jobless and no possible way to even getting a job so I feel cheated by him with his promise of a better world and gamble our future in a land so foreign to us and now he has to pay the price. To be continue…

Where is my light in the end of the tunnel?